Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Child Custody Advice When Planning a Divorce

The demand for child custody advice has risen dramatically over the last 40 years. The reason for this sharp increase for information is that more and more married couples are seeking legal separation or divorce. This can mean a great deal of pain for children involved – unless the parents can keep their “fight” away from their children’s eyes and ears. It also points to the great need for good legal advice for each parent.

It seems that most parents would agree that the most gut wrenching, and heartbreaking consequence of divorce is deciding the details of the custody of their children. The parents may not love each other anymore but, they still strongly love their children and feel a need to protect them – this means a need to physically be with them, and that means wanting custody.

As a result then, in cases of marital dispute, the custody of the children becomes paramount in the minds of the parents. Due to the high emotional pain this decision can inflict, it can quickly take the separation or divorce from an amicable discussion, to one of very heated strife.

A good lawyer, who considers not just the end result of custody, but also the welfare of the children during the court proceedings, should do his/her best to shelter the children from the pain of the custody battle. It is important for parents to keep in mind that the end (custody) doesn’t always justify the means (painful battling where the child suffers).

Despite the common sense notion to keep the kids out of it though, many parents will blindly do “whatever it takes”. In the worse case scenario then, tragically, the children can become a weapon used by the parents to inflict hurt and pain on each other. Unfortunately, when this occurs the children may well become the most traumatized mentally and emotionally of all concerned. When this occurs, the parents should seek the advice of qualified professionals, to guide them in providing help for the children.

Fortunately most children are very resilient, but even the strongest may need additional help from all concerned in the divorce or separation. The parents need to remember that they are the primary caregivers for the children whether they are married or not. This means using good lawyers who don’t need to slander and torture the other spouse to reach a reasonable settlement.

It’s also a good idea, where possible, to get legal advice before a separation occurs. If one is considering a separation or divorce, a visit to a lawyer can often be very helpful in knowing one’s rights. Advice about who will likely get what based on your current living situation an financial ability can be quiet enlightening and also can prevent simple mistakes.

For example, the parent living in the family home can be more likely to get custody of the children. Whether this is the case in your state or province is very important to note if you are thinking of “moving out” and letting your spouse keep the home. What may seem like a kind gesture may come back to bite you later. Early child custody advice can prevent such mistakes from happening. Sphere: Related Content